Posts Tagged ‘lesbian life’

FullSizeRenderIt is 2015, and even with today’s court confirmation of the “affordable care act” provisions… I cannot believe 6 years later LGBT families in many states remain second class citizens in the face-to-face practical settings (like hospitals).

I wrote this (linked) post back in June of 2009 where various media (including Obama) was trying to placate the LGBT population by saying “hey, at least we can give these gay/lesbian folks hospital visits.*”  Way too placatory and seemed mostly disingenuous.

And yet? In 2015? After almost 16 years with my partner? When she had to be taken to the hospital and could not speak for herself? “Hospital visits*” were denied. Here is what happened. Family came to visit from out of state. Half the family went indoors with my partner, and the liquor to flow. Forty-five minutes later I came inside my living-room to see my lady barely unable to open her eyes or hold her head up. šŸ˜¦ The next several hours are a painful blur. I don’t “make enough” to buy insurance on the marketplace for the “affordable care act” (ironic). And the family member that was drinking with my partner wanted to “take her to the hospital” (but we did not have insurance). So, the best I could do was run out to the garage after these people … at least talked them into putting my wife into MY car. I left without my phone or purse. IMG_3992Once we got to the ER the family members “took over.” I kept calm and told the staff at the intake window… “if I were her husband you would let me in.” This is one of the reason I call the Keystone State “Pennsyltucky.” I then let the front desk staff know that I may need to speak to a nurse to inform the staff what Rx my wife is on so that the hospital staff did not harm her with their treatment.

This was a very painful 3 hours alone for me… out in our car (instead of by her bedside). However, this day moved us to finally make the decisions to pursue and complete all the legal paperwork to ENSURE that NO family member, friend or hospital staff could EVER again keep either of us from the bedside of one another! That day, my wife could not speak for herself. So, the family I thought I could trust … demonstrated all too painfully that they would/could dismiss me. This will NEVER happen again! (Because we have finally taken legal action to notarize all paperwork to protect ourselves from here on out). Some of life’s most painful situations teach us the most valuable lessons and move us to make the most important decisions.


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Anyone in the LGBTQ community can and will sincerely appreciate this video!

I am grateful, and I am hopeful that America will move ever closer to total inclusion for all of it’s citizens regardless of race, color of the skin, country of origin, spiritual beliefs …

…or sexual orientation.

Thank you Hillary for standing with LGBT families!

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Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 7.23.11 AMIt has been so long since we have made the time to attend Pride festivities. We used to love to attend the festivals and parades in Portland. But since we have lived near Philly, life has just been so busy that when June rolls around (my favorite month) we just have not made it to the City of Brotherly Love to enjoy the Pride season.

What is Pride all about in your community? What does Pride month mean to you? What has been your favorite part about the festivities? Mine used to be simply walking in public with my partner hand-in-hand with no one staring at us like we were some sort of societal pariah.

Years ago, before FB and G+ and other social media, in the blog world this season was also an opportunity to share one’s “coming out” story. Here’s a couple links to posts that I shared way back then. What is your coming out story? What does LGBTQ mean to you?


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coming_outNo matter how long someone has been living “out,” it seems that there are always speed bumps along the road of life. Many of these speed bumps in my life come in the form of bumping into people that I have not seen or heard from in years… sometimes decades!comingout_3

All over again the anxiety rises, the risk presents itself, the closet threatens to enclose.

A decision presents itself.

Is this person important enough in the scope of my life to risk the “rejection” by coming out all over again to? Or were they just a passing acquaintance that I would be better off to simply “drive on over” at 15 mph?

I faced that question again this week. I chose a little of both. To the person I really had a meaningful friendship with, I authentically and unapologetically “came out” to (and it went very well!). To a few other folks who really were not much more than proverbial speed bumps in my life… I just smiled and drove on by.

comingout_2So, this life… this thing of “becoming who I am”… of being willing to be fully me… is a lifelong journey. Clearly different for each one of us. But I am willing to face the bumps along the road when they arise and enjoy the scenery as much as possible in the meantime. What have your coming out or “pride” experiences been like?

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