It is 2015, and even with today’s court confirmation of the “affordable care act” provisions… I cannot believe 6 years later LGBT families in many states remain second class citizens in the face-to-face practical settings (like hospitals).
I wrote this (linked) post back in June of 2009 where various media (including Obama) was trying to placate the LGBT population by saying “hey, at least we can give these gay/lesbian folks hospital visits.*” Way too placatory and seemed mostly disingenuous.
And yet? In 2015? After almost 16 years with my partner? When she had to be taken to the hospital and could not speak for herself? “Hospital visits*” were denied. Here is what happened. Family came to visit from out of state. Half the family went indoors with my partner, and the liquor to flow. Forty-five minutes later I came inside my living-room to see my lady barely unable to open her eyes or hold her head up. 😦 The next several hours are a painful blur. I don’t “make enough” to buy insurance on the marketplace for the “affordable care act” (ironic). And the family member that was drinking with my partner wanted to “take her to the hospital” (but we did not have insurance). So, the best I could do was run out to the garage after these people … at least talked them into putting my wife into MY car. I left without my phone or purse. 
Once we got to the ER the family members “took over.” I kept calm and told the staff at the intake window… “if I were her husband you would let me in.” This is one of the reason I call the Keystone State “Pennsyltucky.” I then let the front desk staff know that I may need to speak to a nurse to inform the staff what Rx my wife is on so that the hospital staff did not harm her with their treatment.
This was a very painful 3 hours alone for me… out in our car (instead of by her bedside). However, this day moved us to finally make the decisions to pursue and complete all the legal paperwork to ENSURE that NO family member, friend or hospital staff could EVER again keep either of us from the bedside of one another! That day, my wife could not speak for herself. So, the family I thought I could trust … demonstrated all too painfully that they would/could dismiss me. This will NEVER happen again! (Because we have finally taken legal action to notarize all paperwork to protect ourselves from here on out). Some of life’s most painful situations teach us the most valuable lessons and move us to make the most important decisions.
No matter how long someone has been living “out,” it seems that there are always speed bumps along the road of life. Many of these speed bumps in my life come in the form of bumping into people that I have not seen or heard from in years… sometimes decades!
So, this life… this thing of “becoming who I am”… of being willing to be fully me… is a lifelong journey. Clearly different for each one of us. But I am willing to face the bumps along the road when they arise and enjoy the scenery as much as possible in the meantime. What have your coming out or “pride” experiences been like?
Burning or building bridges in the community? 