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It is so ordered 

Four simple words at the end of a beautiful paragraph by Justice Kennedy … bringing wonderful news for all same sex couples who would like to express their love for one another through marriage. We are now indeed the UNITED States of America!

  
 
  

 

  

 

FullSizeRenderIt is 2015, and even with today’s court confirmation of the “affordable care act” provisions… I cannot believe 6 years later LGBT families in many states remain second class citizens in the face-to-face practical settings (like hospitals).

I wrote this (linked) post back in June of 2009 where various media (including Obama) was trying to placate the LGBT population by saying “hey, at least we can give these gay/lesbian folks hospital visits.*”  Way too placatory and seemed mostly disingenuous.

And yet? In 2015? After almost 16 years with my partner? When she had to be taken to the hospital and could not speak for herself? “Hospital visits*” were denied. Here is what happened. Family came to visit from out of state. Half the family went indoors with my partner, and the liquor to flow. Forty-five minutes later I came inside my living-room to see my lady barely unable to open her eyes or hold her head up. :( The next several hours are a painful blur. I don’t “make enough” to buy insurance on the marketplace for the “affordable care act” (ironic). And the family member that was drinking with my partner wanted to “take her to the hospital” (but we did not have insurance). So, the best I could do was run out to the garage after these people … at least talked them into putting my wife into MY car. I left without my phone or purse. IMG_3992Once we got to the ER the family members “took over.” I kept calm and told the staff at the intake window… “if I were her husband you would let me in.” This is one of the reason I call the Keystone State “Pennsyltucky.” I then let the front desk staff know that I may need to speak to a nurse to inform the staff what Rx my wife is on so that the hospital staff did not harm her with their treatment.

This was a very painful 3 hours alone for me… out in our car (instead of by her bedside). However, this day moved us to finally make the decisions to pursue and complete all the legal paperwork to ENSURE that NO family member, friend or hospital staff could EVER again keep either of us from the bedside of one another! That day, my wife could not speak for herself. So, the family I thought I could trust … demonstrated all too painfully that they would/could dismiss me. This will NEVER happen again! (Because we have finally taken legal action to notarize all paperwork to protect ourselves from here on out). Some of life’s most painful situations teach us the most valuable lessons and move us to make the most important decisions.

Thank you Hillary!

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Anyone in the LGBTQ community can and will sincerely appreciate this video!

I am grateful, and I am hopeful that America will move ever closer to total inclusion for all of it’s citizens regardless of race, color of the skin, country of origin, spiritual beliefs …

…or sexual orientation.

Thank you Hillary for standing with LGBT families!

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Screen Shot 2015-06-25 at 7.23.11 AMIt has been so long since we have made the time to attend Pride festivities. We used to love to attend the festivals and parades in Portland. But since we have lived near Philly, life has just been so busy that when June rolls around (my favorite month) we just have not made it to the City of Brotherly Love to enjoy the Pride season.

What is Pride all about in your community? What does Pride month mean to you? What has been your favorite part about the festivities? Mine used to be simply walking in public with my partner hand-in-hand with no one staring at us like we were some sort of societal pariah.

Years ago, before FB and G+ and other social media, in the blog world this season was also an opportunity to share one’s “coming out” story. Here’s a couple links to posts that I shared way back then. What is your coming out story? What does LGBTQ mean to you?


http://www.phillygaypride.org

  

My “Top 100 reasons” I am glad… to be a happily partnered woman with a woman! Note: being a heterosexual does not cause discontentment. Being in a straight marriage does not cause discontentment. Being a housewife does not cause discontentment.
These are my personal reasons. These “reasons” are not meant in any way to be construed as “man bashing.” I am fully aware that things I share here are likely not the experience of every lesbian, nor the experience of every woman who is with a man (or even married to a conservative Christian man–“a fundie”). 
(“Disclaimers” continued at bottom…)

We BOTH wear the pants in the relationship (or sometimes no one is wearing the pants).

My partner is clean and smells good!

Sex is WAY better now! (That is probably the “official” #1).

We are both breadwinners.

We are both homemakers.

I don’t HAVE to wear dresses and heels or anything in particular to be “sexy.” 

I don’t HAVE to grow my hair long.

I don’t HAVE to be “submissive” (you know what I mean).

Her hand just fits.

No back hair!

No trying to convince me that a “BJ” would benefit me because of the “protein.”

We BOTH get to initiate sex–whenever, wherever!

No more worrying about “you never know when it might go off.”

Her kisses are sweeter.

No hair in the sink.

We both get to be on top (or bottom) a.k.a.–no lazy participants!

No greasy hair and killer breath in the morning.

No more “tighty whity’s.”

No more shin lacerations from un-groomed feet.

Either of us drives.

Either of us holds the door.

Either of us pays the tab.

I have emotional and physical fidelity.

She hasn’t “let herself go.”

Neither of us claims to have exclusive knowledge and interpretation of God’s word. 

OK, I’ll say it, two words: comfortable shoes!

Softness.

I respect my partner now.

My partner isn’t ogling other women.

Nurtured when I am sick.

Smoothness.

Not having to worry about getting pregnant.

Are you kidding? She is hot! 

Relationship is egalitarian not dictatorial.

OK, how bout a simpler reason: I get to use the remote!

Making love happens after I get in the room.

The curves.

No finding used condoms on the floor.

My partner doesn’t go to the store un-showered and in sweats.

I don’t always have to be the “designated driver.”

My partner is not always and automatically “right.”

Flowers and other romantic gestures (on other days besides Valentine’s Day).

Finesse in the art of lovemaking

No stubble burn when kissing my partner.

The feminine touch.

I can still breathe when she kisses me.

Breasts!

She prefers my company to that of a video game.

If my partner is hungry, she just makes herself something to eat.

Sex is mutually satisfying.

My partner knows when I need to be held. 

My ideas, wisdom and contributions are respected now. 

No more sleeping in the wet spot.

When dining out my partner is engaged in conversation with me instead of irritating the wait staff.

I am loved for exactly who I am, not a modified version of me.

Foreplay!

I’m not a second class citizen to my partner because of “male privilege” or biblical usurpation.

Emotional intimacy.

Hips

I no longer have to fantasize about what it would be like to be with a woman.

No more asking “permission” in every aspect of my life.

Digital ministrations.

Gender does not, by default, equal “authority.”

My breasts are no longer simply “radio dials.”

Cleanliness. 

Giving her pleasure can be satisfaction enough. 

No one is pitchin’ a tent in my bed.

Thighs

<—…The number says it all! ;)

Power tools take on a whole new meaning. 

Sometimes a “quickie” can be all about me.

Eyes open when we’re doin’ it. 

Our value to each other is beyond mere earning potential. 

My lover just “gets it.”

I am no longer in a “threesome”: me, a man and his ego. ;-)

My partner expresses appreciation for all I do.

I get to choose my own political affiliation.

Slow dancing in the kitchen after dark… shirts optional.

OK, we can’t leave out good old “Home Depot” now can we?

The beautiful complexity of the female orgasm. 

She is proud of me.

The “first time” didn’t hurt.

Less hierarchy and more harmony.

She is vocal about what she finds attractive about me.

We are bound by passion–not “tradition” (or “institution”).

She prefers my hair and nails shorter (honestly, I have better uses for the time previously spent on all that hair plus nail prep.).

Less about authority and more about authenticity.

More sex with (only) each other.

I just “get” all those love songs now!

We are both from the “same planet” (remember the old “Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus”?)

Doin’ it with the lights on!

She remembers our anniversary(s).

I don’t need to think about anyone else when I am “with” her.

We have stayed together because of devotion to each other, not because of “church sanction” (or fear of falling out of favor with a church).

Less competition and more compatibility.

I am a whole “one of two” joined with my partner instead of half “of one.”

Less entitlement and more encouragement.

She stands up for me.

If one mom is good, then two is better (for our kids)!

She restored my faith in love.

Bonus “reasons”:
I have grown to be way more tolerant, less judgmental, more compassionate…

No battles over “headship”

No co-opting God into enforcing an unequal power differential

No more watching my significant other adjust his “package”–HA! ;)

Her favorite outfit for me is faded blue jeans, a white blouse and no shoes.

Autonomy…

If she makes a mess she cleans it up right then. It’s not left for me to clean. 

Plus, in gay relationships…we can double our wardrobe. Can’t find anything in my closet? Hmm… I check hers! 

Disclaimers Continued… :) Some of these “reasons” have been born out of me seeing a man somewhere in some context and then saying “reason #39.” Some of these reasons were born out of something that was expected of me or said to me in my former life. Some are just because! 
These are intended primarily to be funny and tongue in cheek (although some are serious in nature) and mostly represent my personal experience as a woman.
And for all the men in my life: friends, acquaintances, brothers etc. you all know I wouldn’t trade ya! There are many men in my life that I love and appreciate! 
Like I said, while some of my “reasons” are serious, many are intended to be mostly humorous. If you ended up here by accident and this type of humor isn’t your cup-o-tea, glad you dropped by anyway.
PS- I actually found a list somewhere called“100 Reasons to be Gay.” You might find it worth a read and a chuckle.

(http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/323.html)

#lesbian #gay #pridemonth #LGBT

mmmmmmm…. Love is all about _NOT_ being a lazy lover,

Lesbian love is – well…


#lesbianlove #lesbian #lgbt #lesbians

Gender Fluidity 

The more I work with teens the more the rainbow represents much more than just “the colors of gay”… But now also the wide array of colors on the gender spectrum as well.

  
I read the below story today:

Ruby Rose-

“Gender fluidity is not really feeling like you’re at one end of the spectrum or the other. For the most part, I definitely don’t identify as any gender,” she said.

“I’m not a guy; I don’t really feel like a woman, but obviously I was born one. So, I’m somewhere in the middle.”

  
Rose has previously said she prefers she/her pronouns.

She said that being genderfluid was about “not having to succumb to whatever society – whether it’s work or family or friends or whoever – makes you feel like you’re supposed to be because of how you were born. That’s not the case at all.”

  
“There’s a line in OITNB where Stella is making fun of Piper, saying like ‘Ugh. Women – can’t live with them, can’t live without them.’

“Piper’s like, ‘What? You don’t consider yourself to be a woman?’ Stella says, ‘I do, but that’s only because my options are limited.’”

Her co-star Laverne Cox has been praised for helping trans people come more visible, and recently spoke about how her portrayal of a trans woman had a helped a mother accept her trans daughter.

  
Rose says the same is happening for genderfluid people: “People are talking about gender fluidity more and more now because once someone opens a door to something like that, people put their hands up and say, “That’s me! That’ s my friend! That’s my sister! That’s my mom!”

  
#genderfluidity #gay #bisexual #pansexual #transgender #lesbian #LGBTQ #OITNB

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