It is so ordered

Four simple words at the end of a beautiful paragraph by Justice Kennedy … bringing wonderful news for all same sex couples who would like to express their love for one another through marriage. We are now indeed the UNITED States of America!

  
 
  

 

  

 

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Perks of being a lesbian…

  

My “Top 100 reasons” I am glad… to be a happily partnered woman with a woman! Note: being a heterosexual does not cause discontentment. Being in a straight marriage does not cause discontentment. Being a housewife does not cause discontentment.
These are my personal reasons. These “reasons” are not meant in any way to be construed as “man bashing.” I am fully aware that things I share here are likely not the experience of every lesbian, nor the experience of every woman who is with a man (or even married to a conservative Christian man–“a fundie”). 
(“Disclaimers” continued at bottom…)

We BOTH wear the pants in the relationship (or sometimes no one is wearing the pants).

My partner is clean and smells good!

Sex is WAY better now! (That is probably the “official” #1).

We are both breadwinners.

We are both homemakers.

I don’t HAVE to wear dresses and heels or anything in particular to be “sexy.” 

I don’t HAVE to grow my hair long.

I don’t HAVE to be “submissive” (you know what I mean).

Her hand just fits.

No back hair!

No trying to convince me that a “BJ” would benefit me because of the “protein.”

We BOTH get to initiate sex–whenever, wherever!

No more worrying about “you never know when it might go off.”

Her kisses are sweeter.

No hair in the sink.

We both get to be on top (or bottom) a.k.a.–no lazy participants!

No greasy hair and killer breath in the morning.

No more “tighty whity’s.”

No more shin lacerations from un-groomed feet.

Either of us drives.

Either of us holds the door.

Either of us pays the tab.

I have emotional and physical fidelity.

She hasn’t “let herself go.”

Neither of us claims to have exclusive knowledge and interpretation of God’s word. 

OK, I’ll say it, two words: comfortable shoes!

Softness.

I respect my partner now.

My partner isn’t ogling other women.

Nurtured when I am sick.

Smoothness.

Not having to worry about getting pregnant.

Are you kidding? She is hot! 

Relationship is egalitarian not dictatorial.

OK, how bout a simpler reason: I get to use the remote!

Making love happens after I get in the room.

The curves.

No finding used condoms on the floor.

My partner doesn’t go to the store un-showered and in sweats.

I don’t always have to be the “designated driver.”

My partner is not always and automatically “right.”

Flowers and other romantic gestures (on other days besides Valentine’s Day).

Finesse in the art of lovemaking

No stubble burn when kissing my partner.

The feminine touch.

I can still breathe when she kisses me.

Breasts!

She prefers my company to that of a video game.

If my partner is hungry, she just makes herself something to eat.

Sex is mutually satisfying.

My partner knows when I need to be held. 

My ideas, wisdom and contributions are respected now. 

No more sleeping in the wet spot.

When dining out my partner is engaged in conversation with me instead of irritating the wait staff.

I am loved for exactly who I am, not a modified version of me.

Foreplay!

I’m not a second class citizen to my partner because of “male privilege” or biblical usurpation.

Emotional intimacy.

Hips

I no longer have to fantasize about what it would be like to be with a woman.

No more asking “permission” in every aspect of my life.

Digital ministrations.

Gender does not, by default, equal “authority.”

My breasts are no longer simply “radio dials.”

Cleanliness. 

Giving her pleasure can be satisfaction enough. 

No one is pitchin’ a tent in my bed.

Thighs

<—…The number says it all! 😉

Power tools take on a whole new meaning. 

Sometimes a “quickie” can be all about me.

Eyes open when we’re doin’ it. 

Our value to each other is beyond mere earning potential. 

My lover just “gets it.”

I am no longer in a “threesome”: me, a man and his ego. 😉

My partner expresses appreciation for all I do.

I get to choose my own political affiliation.

Slow dancing in the kitchen after dark… shirts optional.

OK, we can’t leave out good old “Home Depot” now can we?

The beautiful complexity of the female orgasm. 

She is proud of me.

The “first time” didn’t hurt.

Less hierarchy and more harmony.

She is vocal about what she finds attractive about me.

We are bound by passion–not “tradition” (or “institution”).

She prefers my hair and nails shorter (honestly, I have better uses for the time previously spent on all that hair plus nail prep.).

Less about authority and more about authenticity.

More sex with (only) each other.

I just “get” all those love songs now!

We are both from the “same planet” (remember the old “Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus”?)

Doin’ it with the lights on!

She remembers our anniversary(s).

I don’t need to think about anyone else when I am “with” her.

We have stayed together because of devotion to each other, not because of “church sanction” (or fear of falling out of favor with a church).

Less competition and more compatibility.

I am a whole “one of two” joined with my partner instead of half “of one.”

Less entitlement and more encouragement.

She stands up for me.

If one mom is good, then two is better (for our kids)!

She restored my faith in love.

Bonus “reasons”:
I have grown to be way more tolerant, less judgmental, more compassionate…

No battles over “headship”

No co-opting God into enforcing an unequal power differential

No more watching my significant other adjust his “package”–HA! 😉

Her favorite outfit for me is faded blue jeans, a white blouse and no shoes.

Autonomy…

If she makes a mess she cleans it up right then. It’s not left for me to clean. 

Plus, in gay relationships…we can double our wardrobe. Can’t find anything in my closet? Hmm… I check hers! 

Disclaimers Continued… 🙂 Some of these “reasons” have been born out of me seeing a man somewhere in some context and then saying “reason #39.” Some of these reasons were born out of something that was expected of me or said to me in my former life. Some are just because! 
These are intended primarily to be funny and tongue in cheek (although some are serious in nature) and mostly represent my personal experience as a woman.
And for all the men in my life: friends, acquaintances, brothers etc. you all know I wouldn’t trade ya! There are many men in my life that I love and appreciate! 
Like I said, while some of my “reasons” are serious, many are intended to be mostly humorous. If you ended up here by accident and this type of humor isn’t your cup-o-tea, glad you dropped by anyway.
PS- I actually found a list somewhere called“100 Reasons to be Gay.” You might find it worth a read and a chuckle.

(http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/323.html)

#lesbian #gay #pridemonth #LGBT

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Gender Fluidity

The more I work with teens the more the rainbow represents much more than just “the colors of gay”… But now also the wide array of colors on the gender spectrum as well.

  
I read the below story today:

Ruby Rose-

“Gender fluidity is not really feeling like you’re at one end of the spectrum or the other. For the most part, I definitely don’t identify as any gender,” she said.

“I’m not a guy; I don’t really feel like a woman, but obviously I was born one. So, I’m somewhere in the middle.”

  
Rose has previously said she prefers she/her pronouns.

She said that being genderfluid was about “not having to succumb to whatever society – whether it’s work or family or friends or whoever – makes you feel like you’re supposed to be because of how you were born. That’s not the case at all.”

  
“There’s a line in OITNB where Stella is making fun of Piper, saying like ‘Ugh. Women – can’t live with them, can’t live without them.’

“Piper’s like, ‘What? You don’t consider yourself to be a woman?’ Stella says, ‘I do, but that’s only because my options are limited.’”

Her co-star Laverne Cox has been praised for helping trans people come more visible, and recently spoke about how her portrayal of a trans woman had a helped a mother accept her trans daughter.

  
Rose says the same is happening for genderfluid people: “People are talking about gender fluidity more and more now because once someone opens a door to something like that, people put their hands up and say, “That’s me! That’ s my friend! That’s my sister! That’s my mom!”

  
#genderfluidity #gay #bisexual #pansexual #transgender #lesbian #LGBTQ #OITNB

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Protecting LGBT (heck-everyone’s) Expression

Ah! It’s good to be back “home” online… to feel free (safe) again – to write, report equality news, express, vent and connect with the online community.

Thanks to the guardian!

I was sidelined by trolls (one, two and three) at WordPress in 2010 & tried to blog occasionally from Blogger, hoping to avoid trolls. By 2012 my blogging expressions had eventually slowed to a halt.

There are guardians everywhere around us… let us tune our spirits to “see,” and purpose in our souls to be the same protectors to the vulnerable amongst us all.

For example, there are a world of transgender teens all around us who have been marginalized, rejected, threatened, misunderstood. With the newest news coverage of Caitlyn Jenner and the very public transition journey from born a male Olympian, to becoming a very public re-born female trailblazer.

Transgender teens hope Jenner inspires acceptance.

Read On!

http://www.usatoday.com/videos/news/nation/2015/06/02/28352153/

Each of us can carry the torch and blaze a trail safe enough for all transgender teens to be able to safely arrive at their destination.

Read On!

http://m.huffpost.com/us/news/transgender-teens

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Majority rule?

I saw this below quote posted somewhere yesterday after the news broke that Proposition 8 in California was overturned:

“9th Circuit Court in California overturns the rights of the people in today’s ruling on gay marriage. Remember the time when a majority ruled in this country?”

And that got me thinking.

So many of our important human rights decisions in America’s history would likely not have ever been made if it had been put to a popular vote–or up to majority rule.

What if, in 1865, the abolition of slavery was put to a vote instead of the 13th amendment being added to the Constitution? What would the outcome have looked like if the Civil Rights Act of 1875 had been put to a majority rule vote? During World War I, blacks served in the United States Armed Forces in segregated units. Pressure to end racial segregation in the government grew among African Americans and progressives after the end of World War II. On July 26, 1948, President Harry S. Truman signed Executive Order 9981, ending segregation in the United States Armed Forces. Chances are that such an executive order at that time in American history never would have survived a popular vote by the majority rule. It is not a stretch to imagine what would have happened in the 1960’s if racial segregation was put to a vote instead of laws being passed against it. Such as with the Civil Rights Act of 1964. I imagine that if that had been put to a “majority rule” popular vote back then — it never would have happened.

“No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life liberty or property without due process of law, nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.”

Even if a lot of people within a given State want to, rights are not supposed to be put up for a vote.

“Fundamental rights may not be submitted to a vote; they depend on the outcome of no elections.” (Prop. 8 Trial)

Based on the evidence at trial, Judge Walker found:

1. “Individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation.”

2. “California has no interest in asking gays and lesbians to change their sexual orientation or in reducing the number of gays and lesbians in California.”

3. “Same-sex couples are identical to opposite-sex couples in the characteristics relevant to the ability to form successful marital unions. …”

4. “Marrying a person of the opposite sex is an unrealistic option for gay and lesbian individuals.”

5. “The availability of domestic partnership does not provide gays and lesbians with a status equivalent to marriage because the cultural meaning of marriage and its associated benefits are intentionally withheld from same-sex couples in domestic partnerships.”

6. “Permitting same-sex couples to marry will not affect the number of opposite-sex couples who marry, divorce, cohabit, have children outside of marriage or otherwise affect the stability of opposite-sex marriages.”

7. “Proposition 8 places the force of law behind stigmas against gays and lesbians, including: gays and lesbians do not have intimate relationships similar to heterosexual couples; gays and lesbians are not as good as heterosexuals; and gay and lesbian relationships do not deserve the full recognition of society.”

8. “Proposition 8 increases costs and decreases wealth for same sex couples because of increased tax burdens, decreased availability of health insurance and higher transactions costs to secure rights and obligations typically associated with marriage.”

9. “Proposition 8 singles out gays and lesbians and legitimates their unequal treatment. Proposition 8 perpetuates the stereotype that gays and lesbians are incapable of forming long-term loving relationships and that gays and lesbians are not good parents.”

10. “The gender of a child’s parent is not a factor in a child’s adjustment. The sexual orientation of an individual does not determine whether that individual can be a good parent. …”

So, what’s next? That is not exactly clear. This issue will eventually go before the Federal Supreme Court as lawyers on both sides expect the ruling to be appealed and ultimately reach the U.S. Supreme Court during the next few years. And then eventually (hopefully) D.O.M.A. will be overturned — paving the way for Federal recognition of same-sex unions across State lines.

Marriage & Relationship Recognition

GLBT

same sex marriage

domestic-partnership

same-sex-relationships

lgbt

prop 8

proposition 8

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I saw the sign(s), may they open up some eyes

While perusing the WordPress “Freshly Pressed” today I clicked across a pretty cool post. I thoroughly loved the clever and meaningful sign slogans that this blogger had compiled from their experience with the March for Equality. I’ll list a few favorites below, and you can read the entire list right here!

• Be careful whom you hate – it could be someone you love.
• Put down the Bible and pick up the Constitution.

• In 29 states it’s legal to fire me for being a lesbian.

• I lost my
  – child/ or
  – job/ or
  – reputation… etc.
  for being a lesbian
  thanks to prejudice or our country’s laws.

GLBT

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Visiting hours

Well, President Obama recently made good on a promise to the LGBT community. Did he repeal D.A.D.T.? No. Did he repeal D.O.M.A.? No. What did he do?

He ordered hospital visitation rights for gay and lesbian couples. When did he pledge to grant this “right”? Well, it may have been more than one instance, but I remember it from Brian Williams’ interview with Obama on NBC tonight “Inside the White House.” That was the interview where the President skirted around what issues he would take up for LGBT Americans and offered the carrot of being able to visit their partner in the hospital.

I’m not sure I had ever given that “right” much thought until I had seen the movie “If These Walls Could Talk 2.” Near the end of the first vignette one partner has taken her partner to the hospital. She waits quite a while–having heard no news–then asks to see her “friend.” The nurse tells her that “only family members are allowed.” She tells the nurse she is going to stay right there in the waiting room, and asks the staff to let her know if anything changes in the condition of her “friend.” I’ll let you watch the clip from the movie to see what happens the next morning.

Suffice it to say, I see the immeasurable value of being allowed to visit one’s partner in the hospital–and I am grateful our President has taken this step. However, experience has shown that this “order” alone is not enough. In Oregon when the governor made domestic partnerships law including all the “rights afforded to marriage,” gay and lesbian couples found that they still had to prove their connection when trying to see their partner at the hospital. Can you imagine any straight man and any woman going to the hospital and being asked to see the marriage license before being allowed to see the person they stated was their husband or wife?

Yes, this is an important first step the President has taken. But many more steps are still to be walked on the path toward LGBT relationship recognition and equality in America.

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