Posts Tagged ‘found0804’

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SO… my faithful bloggy friends… over the last couple days you may have discovered that my blog was on “members only” status. Many of you already knew the reasons why. Although the story may seem complex, it came down to this…

My life is way too valuable to me for the important details of my life to simply become the open (uninvited) fodder for voyeuristic vitriol. What am I talking about?

Well, a seemingly random individual decided to troll my blog and leave an unfounded and toxic comment–under the “Target2” moniker. The commenter contradicted themselves by stating the following — and then turning right around and doing this (she has never met me): “When you malign and judge people without ever meeting them or truly knowing what they are going through, how is that being ‘real’. To me that IS hateful.”

(I know exactly “how” “Target2” found my blog because the WordPress Dashboard Stats showed me specifically what led her to my blog… the stranger question would be “why?”.)

Once I discovered who this person really was, I temporarily made my blog “members only.” That individual (although she was purposely previously blocked on my facebook) sent me a message via facebook and said that my changing this blog to “members only” indicated that I was a “coward.” Weird. That is completely non-sequitur. At any rate, because this anomaly took place, I took time to protect this valuable space that I have shared so much about my life within.

I will be sending many of you an email with the pass-code to access any and all of the posts from my blog over the last couple years. My life is way too good and valuable to me to allow toxic individuals to rent space in it.

OK friends. Send me an email if you did not already receive one to obtain the “key” for traveling the Bridges Blog.

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I have to admit that I had never even heard of Jon and Kate before the summer’s tabloid frenzy over Jon and Kate and their 8 children. Thanks to the magic of a DVR and summer reruns I have become acquainted with Jon and Kate plus 8 over the last couple months.

I was curious how such a unique family started, survived so much together… and yet were now unraveling in front of millions.

How did Jon and Kate get from this


… to this?


Probably much the way any other couple would (or maybe with a little help from all these wtf_jonanonymous women in the pool… but I digress…)

I am not Dr. Phil, or Dr. Ruth, or Dr. Joyce Brothers. I’m simply one person who has loved and lost–been married and divorced, been in a traditional union and a not-so-traditional union.

Here are 8 things that I believe can unravel even the strongest union (in no particular order):

  1. Nitpicking- that is different than having an honest disagreement. Nitpicking really wears on a love.control
  2. Controlling- Attempts to control one’s lover are counterproductive. Not only will controlling behavior erode love, but  it is futile. We can really only control ourselves (or at least try).
  3. Neglect- whether forgetting to remember all the little things that helped you both fall in love in the first place, or worse–neglect damages love.
  4. Contempt- you can see contempt by the faces one might make at another, or tone of voice used with one another, or even in body language between two people.
  5. Criticism- especially in front of other people or the children.
  6. Ignoring- whether it is ignoring a request to take out the trash, or a request to simply be heard or receive love.heartonmend
  7. Infidelity or even indifference. Whether one person is actually seeking out another person intimately, or one partner has basically physically or emotionally “checked out” of the love… it kills the intimacy–which is an important glue in love.
  8. Defensiveness- no one is perfect, clearly there will be conflict in any relationship. How conflicts are handled can either build bridges of closeness or burn them.

lovecardsLasting love takes a lot more than luck.


9/23/09 UPDATE: on Jon & Kate and their debacle.

What side would you choose?

Here’s the AOL poll…


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