Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘health’ Category

We are living life at the speed of crazy around here! There has been so much going on, that in years past I would have been blogging about. But because if this person, and this person, and this person I have greatly scaled back blogging on anything having to do with my family, in addition I “password protected” many posts. However, there are no guarantees with “password protected” posts. Partly because I made the mistake (back when I first needed to “lock down” this blog) of giving a few people that I did not “know” the password. The majority of people who read my blog regularly received the password as soon as all of this happened back in December. But, there were a few who gave me “names” and “emails” who I had never seen read or comment on my blog who asked for the key. And at first I gave that out to a few “unknown” people. But anyone can make up an alias and create a free email account. So I have still been cautious even in the “protected” posts I have written. Having said all of that, I have to share some of the recent insanity. And we shall see if any of those 3 individuals who have trolled my blog are among the “strangers” who got the “key” under an alias. Because they will not be able to HELP themselves but to comment on, print out and mail, or bring up on a phone call — this post. Where do I begin. I have no clue. So much has been happening since the first of the year. Let me start by saying that we are parents who believe in boundaries. We are not “friends” — we are parents. We are not trying to win a popularity contest — we are trying to guide young people safely out of the nest and into adulthood. So much drama with this particular teen’s other joint co-parent who decided they did not want one of their two teens to come out and visit this summer — because they are difficult. (This would definitely shake a troll out of the woodwork if they got the key to this blog under an assumed name). Yes, that teen can be difficult. But that person is still the teen’s biological parent! Then the sibling of that teen spent a long hour in tears on the phone begging their parent to bring that teen out as well this summer and “work things out.” Again, at the speed of crazy, a couple days after that incident — that parent has been threatening “legal action” if the teen (that they told NOT to come out) is not on a plane and coming out this summer. Well, words have meaning — and that teen has decided not to go where they were requested not to go in the first place. Now on to yesterday. So much has happened with one of the teens under our care this year that we have had to more clearly and firmly re-establish boundaries. We have not been at all popular for that. We have locked windows, blocked unmonitored exits, and instituted random “rated-G text message” checks for the cell phones — to name a few. Yesterday was just such a day for one of the cell text spot checks. For the most part the texts were fairly “rated-G.” We are aware that the end of the school year is coming up. We also sense an increasing irritability and urgency within one of the teens to find ways to spend as much time as they can with their suitor. There have been hints at some requests that are going to be made. This alone tells alone us that it is going to be something outside of the boundaries that we would easily be able to say “yes” to. If it were a simple request within the boundaries, the teen would have just come out at asked! Back to the texts. One of the texts within the last few days stated that the suitor in waiting was going to “kill” the parents if we did not say “yes” and allow our teen to do whatever was being planned. Red flag! We talked with one of the suitor’s parents, when we mentioned the “kill” text, that parent noted that behavior had been strange enough with their teen on that end that they had previously taken the young person aside and actually said to them: “you know, this isn’t like a Lifetime movie, you can’t just go kill them and run off with [the teen-love-interest from our home].” Who actually has to SAY that to their teen? Are you for REAL??! This is just crazy. We are taking many actions necessary here to ensure our safety, as well as the virtue of the teens we are raising to adulthood. But seriously, that is some crazy sh*t!

Read Full Post »

Seems like the heavier my heart is the less I say… the less I even breathe. And yet, I think tonight it may help to find some words to express what has been going on in my world.

Members of my family are currently grieving a huge loss. One of the last really good men on the planet. A man who took responsibility for himself, his own actions, his ex-wife’s welfare (until the day she died). His three children, his beloved 2nd wife’s 3 children. Their many grandchildren combined.

This was a man who was a 10 year veteran of the USAF, instructing on the T33 and T38. He flew the F4 Phantom on over 100 reconnaissance missions over Vietnam, earning a Silver Star, 3 Distinguished Flying Crosses, 11 Air Medals and a Purple Heart. He was a pilot for a commercial airline for over 30 years. Most importantly, he was husband to my sweet partner’s amazing Mom for the last 25 years.

They were an adorable couple! It was within the last couple years that they were visiting our home, and we found some 20 year old pictures of them dancing at a family member’s wedding. I commented that they looked like they were so in love. Jack took the picture and said “Were? We still ARE in love!” ♥ That kind of love is so rare in our world today. ♥

There is nothing he wouldn’t do for his family… as long as it was within his power. About 3 years ago, something happened that was beyond his power to fix. He was diagnosed with 2 kinds of Leukemia. ALL and AML Leukemia. He started receiving various treatments and was given up to 2.5 to 3 years expectancy.

This November (2009) was near the end of that expectancy window. He had a close call in the hospital and my family went down to see him (I am usually the one here at home holding down the fort and taking care of the pets… as well as the kids when the get flown back home after a couple days). I’m the behind the scenes support person. Thankfully my partner is extremely good at frequently articulating her gratitude and acknowledgment that she could not be doing what she needs to do without me at home taking care of everything else.

This last week my partner got word from her Mom that things were declining quickly. She then traveled to help her Mom through the last few days of Jack’s life. Those last few days of life are in no way shape or form easy. Leaving this mortal coil is not at all peaceful. I always wondered when people would say “well at least they went peacefully.” I don’t think that is hardly ever the case. Jack decided around Thanksgiving after that last trip to the hospital to come home — since there was nothing else the Doctors or hospital could do for him. He wanted to have some sort of control over how and where he would spend his final hours.

In the end? No control. All you can hope and pray and plan is that you have been a person of such love, integrity, care and humility so that you have been able to surround yourself with the kind of people who will not only care for you right up until the very end… but will lovingly protect your dignity right up until that last moment… the last breath.

Someone I respect once told me that when we are hoping to help someone in need, or someone who is grieving a loss — that is most important is being… not doing. My partner is so very good at that with her family. She has been invaluable throughout these last three years in her ability to just BE there for her Mom. While we all miss her at home this week… we also know that Jack was so special a man that we would gladly do without her while she lovingly and respectfully helped her Mom take care of Jack during his final restless and relentless hours on this planet. She has the gift of being… and I have the privilege of being a part of her family.

We will all miss you Jack!

Read Full Post »

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Read Full Post »

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Read Full Post »

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Read Full Post »

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Read Full Post »

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »