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Archive for the ‘gay marriage’ Category

Four simple words at the end of a beautiful paragraph by Justice Kennedy … bringing wonderful news for all same sex couples who would like to express their love for one another through marriage. We are now indeed the UNITED States of America!

  
 
  

 

  

 

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My “Top 100 reasons” I am glad… to be a happily partnered woman with a woman! Note: being a heterosexual does not cause discontentment. Being in a straight marriage does not cause discontentment. Being a housewife does not cause discontentment.
These are my personal reasons. These “reasons” are not meant in any way to be construed as “man bashing.” I am fully aware that things I share here are likely not the experience of every lesbian, nor the experience of every woman who is with a man (or even married to a conservative Christian man–“a fundie”). 
(“Disclaimers” continued at bottom…)

We BOTH wear the pants in the relationship (or sometimes no one is wearing the pants).

My partner is clean and smells good!

Sex is WAY better now! (That is probably the “official” #1).

We are both breadwinners.

We are both homemakers.

I don’t HAVE to wear dresses and heels or anything in particular to be “sexy.” 

I don’t HAVE to grow my hair long.

I don’t HAVE to be “submissive” (you know what I mean).

Her hand just fits.

No back hair!

No trying to convince me that a “BJ” would benefit me because of the “protein.”

We BOTH get to initiate sex–whenever, wherever!

No more worrying about “you never know when it might go off.”

Her kisses are sweeter.

No hair in the sink.

We both get to be on top (or bottom) a.k.a.–no lazy participants!

No greasy hair and killer breath in the morning.

No more “tighty whity’s.”

No more shin lacerations from un-groomed feet.

Either of us drives.

Either of us holds the door.

Either of us pays the tab.

I have emotional and physical fidelity.

She hasn’t “let herself go.”

Neither of us claims to have exclusive knowledge and interpretation of God’s word. 

OK, I’ll say it, two words: comfortable shoes!

Softness.

I respect my partner now.

My partner isn’t ogling other women.

Nurtured when I am sick.

Smoothness.

Not having to worry about getting pregnant.

Are you kidding? She is hot! 

Relationship is egalitarian not dictatorial.

OK, how bout a simpler reason: I get to use the remote!

Making love happens after I get in the room.

The curves.

No finding used condoms on the floor.

My partner doesn’t go to the store un-showered and in sweats.

I don’t always have to be the “designated driver.”

My partner is not always and automatically “right.”

Flowers and other romantic gestures (on other days besides Valentine’s Day).

Finesse in the art of lovemaking

No stubble burn when kissing my partner.

The feminine touch.

I can still breathe when she kisses me.

Breasts!

She prefers my company to that of a video game.

If my partner is hungry, she just makes herself something to eat.

Sex is mutually satisfying.

My partner knows when I need to be held. 

My ideas, wisdom and contributions are respected now. 

No more sleeping in the wet spot.

When dining out my partner is engaged in conversation with me instead of irritating the wait staff.

I am loved for exactly who I am, not a modified version of me.

Foreplay!

I’m not a second class citizen to my partner because of “male privilege” or biblical usurpation.

Emotional intimacy.

Hips

I no longer have to fantasize about what it would be like to be with a woman.

No more asking “permission” in every aspect of my life.

Digital ministrations.

Gender does not, by default, equal “authority.”

My breasts are no longer simply “radio dials.”

Cleanliness. 

Giving her pleasure can be satisfaction enough. 

No one is pitchin’ a tent in my bed.

Thighs

<—…The number says it all! 😉

Power tools take on a whole new meaning. 

Sometimes a “quickie” can be all about me.

Eyes open when we’re doin’ it. 

Our value to each other is beyond mere earning potential. 

My lover just “gets it.”

I am no longer in a “threesome”: me, a man and his ego. 😉

My partner expresses appreciation for all I do.

I get to choose my own political affiliation.

Slow dancing in the kitchen after dark… shirts optional.

OK, we can’t leave out good old “Home Depot” now can we?

The beautiful complexity of the female orgasm. 

She is proud of me.

The “first time” didn’t hurt.

Less hierarchy and more harmony.

She is vocal about what she finds attractive about me.

We are bound by passion–not “tradition” (or “institution”).

She prefers my hair and nails shorter (honestly, I have better uses for the time previously spent on all that hair plus nail prep.).

Less about authority and more about authenticity.

More sex with (only) each other.

I just “get” all those love songs now!

We are both from the “same planet” (remember the old “Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus”?)

Doin’ it with the lights on!

She remembers our anniversary(s).

I don’t need to think about anyone else when I am “with” her.

We have stayed together because of devotion to each other, not because of “church sanction” (or fear of falling out of favor with a church).

Less competition and more compatibility.

I am a whole “one of two” joined with my partner instead of half “of one.”

Less entitlement and more encouragement.

She stands up for me.

If one mom is good, then two is better (for our kids)!

She restored my faith in love.

Bonus “reasons”:
I have grown to be way more tolerant, less judgmental, more compassionate…

No battles over “headship”

No co-opting God into enforcing an unequal power differential

No more watching my significant other adjust his “package”–HA! 😉

Her favorite outfit for me is faded blue jeans, a white blouse and no shoes.

Autonomy…

If she makes a mess she cleans it up right then. It’s not left for me to clean. 

Plus, in gay relationships…we can double our wardrobe. Can’t find anything in my closet? Hmm… I check hers! 

Disclaimers Continued… 🙂 Some of these “reasons” have been born out of me seeing a man somewhere in some context and then saying “reason #39.” Some of these reasons were born out of something that was expected of me or said to me in my former life. Some are just because! 
These are intended primarily to be funny and tongue in cheek (although some are serious in nature) and mostly represent my personal experience as a woman.
And for all the men in my life: friends, acquaintances, brothers etc. you all know I wouldn’t trade ya! There are many men in my life that I love and appreciate! 
Like I said, while some of my “reasons” are serious, many are intended to be mostly humorous. If you ended up here by accident and this type of humor isn’t your cup-o-tea, glad you dropped by anyway.
PS- I actually found a list somewhere called“100 Reasons to be Gay.” You might find it worth a read and a chuckle.

(http://www.jokesandhumor.com/jokes/323.html)

#lesbian #gay #pridemonth #LGBT

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After Wednesdays landmark decision  to overturn Prop. 8 (California’s ban on same-sex marriage), several news shows highlighted coverage of the legal victory in the Prop. 8 case, and discussed the important move toward full marriage equality in America.

On MSNBC that night, Keith Olbermann replayed his special comment from 11/10/2008 — after Prop. 8 had won that night via “popular vote.” This may be one of the best rebuttals to the “re-defining marriage” mantra.

I keep hearing this term “re-defining” marriage. If this country hadn’t re-defined marriage, black people still couldn’t marry white people. Sixteen states had laws on the books which made that illegal in 1967. 1967.

The parents of the President-Elect of the United States couldn’t have married in nearly one third of the states of the country their son grew up to lead. But it’s worse than that. If this country had not “re-defined” marriage, some black people still couldn’t marry black people. It is one of the most overlooked and cruelest parts of our sad story of slavery. Marriages were not legally recognized, if the people were slaves. Since slaves were property, they could not legally be husband and wife, or mother and child. Their marriage vows were different: not “Until Death, Do You Part,” but “Until Death or Distance, Do You Part.” Marriages among slaves were not legally recognized.

You know, just like marriages today in California are not legally recognized, if the people are gay.

What is this, to you? Nobody is asking you to embrace their expression of love. But don’t you, as human beings, have to embrace… that love? The world is barren enough.

It is stacked against love, and against hope, and against those very few and precious emotions that enable us to go forward. Your marriage only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.

And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling.  With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?


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Judge Vaughn Walker’s pending decision in the federal Prop 8 trial is still yet to be seen, but the marriage equality movement just won another major federal court victory.

A federal judge in Massachusetts ruled that a large part of the Defense of Marriage Act — the 1996 federal law banning recognition of same-sex marriage by the federal government — is unconstitutional.

This ruling on DOMA is wonderful news and a huge victory in our fight to bring full equality to all Americans. If the ruling is not overturned, the federal government will have to recognize same-sex marriages performed in states that recognize such marriages, eliminating yet another discriminatory barrier.

Of course, that didn’t stop Maggie Gallagher, Chair of the right-wing “National Organization for Marriage,” from claiming that this ruling might cause a “culture war”:

“Does this federal judge want to start another culture war? Does he really want another Roe. v. Wade? The simple fact is that the right of the federal government to define marriage for the purposes of its federal law and federal territories has been clear since the late 19th century, when Congress banned polygamy. Only an incompetent defense could have lost this case. We expect to win in a higher court.”

Now President Obama is faced with a critical decision: appeal the ruling to a higher court or let it stand. You can take a moment to tell President Obama you would like him to stand with equality by going here.

(Story courtesy of the Courage Campaign)

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That’s right friends, today is National Freedom to Marry Day! Pretty cool that it comes right before the Valentine’s Day weekend this year.

Marry if you want, don’t marry if you don’t want. But certainly let us not make it our National policy to stand in the way of marriage one way or another (yes, I am speaking of marriage between any two consenting adult Homo sapiens).

Hope you all have a ♥ love filled ♥ Valentine weekend as well!

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As the Prop. 8 trial continues in California it brings same-sex marriage to the forefront of the news in America once again. It makes one ponder the question I know that I have thought of so many times since 2004 when gay marriage started becoming a big political spotlight issue: what are people so afraid of? What it is about same-sex marriage that brings people together on so many levels? What is it about this issue that often times brings individuals together solely for the purpose of striking down any possibility of any relationship recognition for same-sex couples?

If marriage is so special, if it provides a glue and a stability for families and culture… then why not spread it around a little more liberally? You can read/listen to more here about the conservative case for gay marriage.

Time magazine on the conservative case for same-sex marriage:

“Conservatives have long rightly argued for the vital importance of the institution of marriage for fostering responsibility, commitment and the domestication of unruly men. Bringing gay men and women into this institution will surely change the gay subculture in subtle but profoundly conservative ways.”

Here is a Day 4 summary of the Prop 8 Trial.

Update from Day 5 of the Prop 8 Trial.

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