Can I be gay and still really be Christian?

Yesterday marked the arrival of my semi-annual condemnation email from my ex-husband regarding my “lesbian lifestyle” with his subsequent judgment pronouncements–as well as his calling into question my actual salvation. These emails usually follow an interchange where he and I did not agree on how to co-parent our son… meaning I did not acquiesce and “submit” to what he thought should be done in a particular situation… I did not come under his “authority.” When that happens, I end up getting an email like yesterday’s:

Quote: As can be quickly shown by the history, and spiritual roots, of the lesbian/feminist movement, lesbianism it is not just about hatred toward men (and rebellion against paternal authority) but an embrace of a feminist deity that simply isn’t in the Bible. If you are not a lesbian, (as we know, God did not create any) then please, get out of the ungodly relationship you’re in and repent (have a change of mind, heart, and behavior). There is now plenty of godly, loving recovery help available.

Every vehicle you’ve driven has been “tagged” by a lesbian sticker — the blue and yellow “=” sign for equal rights for homosexuals. The “Love Makes a Family” bumper sticker, as you know, is promoting a homosexual activist organization that tramples on God’s word, and quite frankly, simply gives God “the finger.” Their website features photos of “joyous” men-with-men, women-with-women, and “their” children — which far from promoting true love and true families; rather, it promotes a lie of deception.

All of this is exceedingly grievous, and continues to press on my heart. I don’t “hate” you, or any homosexual for that matter, but you of all people should know the truth…

It is at cross-purposes to be a spirit-filled, professing believer in Christ Jesus our Lord, who bought us with his precious blood, AND remain in a relationship that is contrary to everything for which Jesus died. It’s oil and water, fire and ice, darkness and light, day and night. Given your circumstance, then, the only true hope you can give people therefore, is a humanistic one, based on man’s wisdom, and principles of “equality.” This is not being mean-spirited, but speaking the truth.

Can “GLBTs” share “true love” between themselves and their “children”? Sure, our bodies and even spirits can give and receive love in many forms, regardless of one’s faith. But GLBT activism is a “love” outside of God’s design. Therefore, it is counterfeit at best.

Furthermore, GLBTs can’t make their own “families” because it is outside the created order of things. The “hope” that organizations such as “Love Makes a Family” provide is artificial because it rebels against the created order, and against God’s true love, which is God himself. In other words, lesbianism and homosexuality separate mankind from its Creator, Lord, and Savior. The scary flip side of that, is that spiritually speaking, GLBT “equality” is a doctrine from it’s originator, which is Satan.

So, while I acknowledge my own sin, which desires to speak angrily instead of lovingly, I pray you will not feel attacked but exhorted by this letter, which is long overdue. God’s word says to “be angry, and sin not.” So, certain things are clearly worthy of being angry about. While we may be frustrated at times with each other, the target of my frustration is not you, but the spiritual forces that have bound you to things and places that God did not appoint for you.

God is patient, loving, and kind with all of us, and desires that his mercies, which are new every morning, will be used by us to bring us to repentance. But at some point, this door of opportunity closes for everyone who is outside the fold:

“For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet” (Romans 1:26-27).

The signs of the times increasingly point that we are living in the “last days” prior to Christ’s return. With this in mind, these words should also cause us to examine ourselves:

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, …” (1 Cor 6:9-10).

That’s the bad news. But here’s the good news:

“And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient… shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid” (1 Cor 6:12,15).

And the exhortation:

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? …” (1 Cor 6:18-20).

This letter is far from perfect, and in spite of editing it all morning, likely still contains elements of my own flesh, but please understand that I’m not standing in judgment of you — that’s God’s job. I’m simply attempting to speak the truth in love, and to communicate urgency with regard to spiritual matters. These verses are as much a reminder to me, and to all believers, that we must “choose this day whom you will serve” and to “redeem the time, for the days are evil.” End quote.

In years past an email like this one sent me reeling for days (or longer) with fear and doubt. Therefore, his emails usually accomplished his goal–which was for me to cower in unworthiness and give in to whatever he was usurping from me.

Thank God I am no longer that woman!

Now, not only do I recognize his efforts to usurp from me and to make me cower as emotional and psychological abuse, but I recognize his efforts to undermine my faith and salvation as spiritual abuse. In addition to that education, I now thankfully have read other gay Christian’s thoroughly studied and researched writings on these tiny portions of scripture that my ex-husband uses (and many others who argue what they have been told the “Bible says about homosexuality”) to clobber me with.

I only wish my ex-husband had ears to hear and a humble spirit to receive rebuttal information! Since neither is true of him, I will share here.

First of all, who says that lesbianism is about “hatred of men” and “rebellion against paternal authority”? (In the past he told me lesbianism was because of an inadequate relationship with the mother–so which are you going to blame… father or mother?). What is this about the “feminine deity” and his assertion that “we know that God did not create any lesbians”? He has always wanted me to get out of my “ungodly relationship”–if I were his current wife I would be a little taken aback by how preoccupied he is with this. And yes, I have heard about some of the “godly loving recovery help.”

Secondly, I highly doubt that the HRC and “Love makes a family” are trying to “give God the finger” with their advocacy and stickers. He doesn’t hate homosexuals, he just wants them to know the truth? Reminds me of that line from A Few Good Men: “you can’t handle the truth!” Who said that his take on what other men have said about God’s words is “the truth”?

Thirdly, it is arrogant to relegate the love that GLBT individuals share between themselves and their children to being “counterfeit.” Then there is having the children without intercourse makes it “outside the natural order of things” argument. That one totally overlooks all the ways that infertile heterosexual couples utilize to have children and make families. It also invalidates marriages that choose not to have children at all. That is a widely debunked fallacy. He also stated that “equality doctrine” is from Satan. Again, no surprise, I disagree.

He then retreats behind the widely used Romans 1 and 1 Corinthians 6 passages to “prove” what he believes about homosexuality and to assert that I am “out of the fold” (the questioning of my salvation).

One of the most comforting and educational sources for debunking the misinterpretation and misuse of “proof texts” has been Grace Unfolding Ministries/SisterFriends Together. Here is some of what Anita (ordained minister and author at SisterFriends Together) reveals about these “clobber passages.”

Regarding Romans 1: “I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve received emails from strangers who upon finding this ministry online have included a cut and paste of Romans 1:26-27 in the body of the email, as if that’s all they need to say to prove their view that the Bible condemns homosexuality”… (read the important content here).

Regarding 1 Corinthians 6: “With so much uncertainty surrounding these words it’s of painful concern that it’s been used by some within the church with absolute rigidity to condemn gays and lesbians”… (read the important content here).

He closes with the disingenuous and inflammatory “I’m not standing in judgment of you–but you can be sure GOD is!” I have to admit that I found humor in the fact that he spent all morning at work writing and editing this email to me (even though he works for a conservative Christian company). I will likely not even reply to this email. What is the point? I’ll let the blood of Jesus speak for me.

“I can’t deny I’m lost in sin
I could plead my own case but I would not win.
The only hope I see are the stains of Calvary,
So I’ll let the blood speak for me!

The blood says I am whole…
The blood says I am clean…
All is forgiven, I’ve been set free!
So let the blood…
Let the blood speak for me.”

So, can I be gay and still really be Christian? Yes! No matter what he says.

I am His, and no one can remove me from His hand!

glbtq-christians