Top 100 reasons I am glad I am a lesbian, pt.1

“Top 100 reasons I am glad I am a lesbian”

Some of these “reasons” have been born out of me seeing a man somewhere… in some context… and then saying… “reason #39.” e.g. picture this: unkempt man in dirty clothes dirty hair, dirty hands, smells of tobacco and axle grease = “reason #___.”

Some of these reasons were born out of something that was expected of me or said to me in my former life–by my ex-husband or by other men in my life. Some are just because!

I’ll start with 25:

1. We BOTH wear the pants in the relationship (or sometimes no one is wearing the pants).
2. My partner is clean and smells good!
3. Sex is WAY better now! (That is probably the “official” #1).
4. We are both breadwinners.
5. We are both homemakers.
6. I don’t HAVE to wear dresses and heels or anything in particular to be “sexy.”
7. I don’t HAVE to grow my hair long.
8. I don’t HAVE to be “submissive” (you know what I mean).
9. Her hand just fits.
10. No back hair!
11. No trying to convince me that a “BJ” would benefit me because of the “protein.”
12. We BOTH get to initiate sex–whenever, wherever!
13. No more worrying about “you never know when it might go off”…
14. Her kisses are sweeter.
15. No hair in the sink.
16. We both get to be on top (or bottom) a.k.a.–no lazy participants!
17. No greasy hair and killer breath in the morning.
18. No more “tighty whitey’s.”
19. No more shin lacerations from un-groomed feet.
20. Either of us drives.
21. Either of us holds the door.
22. Either of us pays the tab.
23. I have emotional and physical fidelity.
24. She hasn’t “let herself go.”
25. Neither of us claims to have exclusive knowledge and interpretation of “God’s word.”

Disclaimer: These are intended primarily to be funny and tongue in cheek (although some are kind of serious) and mostly represent my personal experience as a woman and a lesbian, as well as my personal experiences as a woman who was previously with a (conservative christian) man for a decade and a half. And for all the men in my life: friends, acquaintances, sons, brothers etc., you all know I wouldn’t trade ya!

GLBT